One more lesson learned

I watched the Oscar’s last night, and bawled like a baby.

I usually don’t cry at awards shows.

Typically I watch to make fun of the outfits and drool over the luscious men.

Last night was different.

Julianne Moore was up for and won for her portrayal of a woman with Early Onset Alzheimer’s.  I haven’t seen the movie. Right now it would just be too tough to watch.

Glen Campbell recorded a song written about his life with Alzheimer’s.  I wish it had won.

I cried during both Ms Moore’s speech and during Tim McGraw’s performance of I’m Not Gonna Miss You.

I was thinking about how true the words to Mr Campbell’s song are. While the person suffering from any of the many, many dementia’s is suffering, at some point they no longer realize they aren’t who they used to be.  Early on, they know, and it torments them. Just watch clips of Still Alice. 

But at some point in this horrid disease, they no longer remember. They no longer realize that real life isn’t the movie reel that is playing inside their head.  The voices they hear, aren’t real, the people the see aren’t real. Maybe at some time, in some long ago era they were, but now, here, in reality they no longer exist.

The patient no longer recognizes the faces that are real, the ones that are caring for them, making sure their needs are met, and that they are safe. They feel the love. They recognize the love. But that’s it.

When mom reached the point where she could no longer communicate verbally, she still communicated with her eyes.  I could tell when she was scared, when she was in pain, when she was sad, and I could see her love for those around her just by looking in her eyes.

There was one time, mom wasn’t able to communicate verbally, she couldn’t string together words, and someone called for her. My sister in law, put the phone up to my mother’s ear, and the person started speaking.  Mom’s entire body stiffened up, she jerked her head and started moaning as if in great pain. It took a long time afterwards for us to get her calmed down.  The hospice nurse was there and actually had to sedate her to settle her down.  We don’t know why she reacted that way, but she did.

She may not have been able to verbalize her feelings, but she made it clear how she felt about that person. And she let us know that while she wasn’t able to talk to us, she was still in there, she could hear, she could feel, she was there.

So often we ignore those with deficiencies.

That day my mom taught me yet one more lesson.

She taught me to look beyond the obvious, and see the deep down.

Believe it or not, that wasn’t her last lesson to me.

Even on her deathbed, she was still teaching me, and preparing me for my future.

 

 

Fifty Shades of what?

Here we go again.

Folks are all up in arms about the 50 Shades of Grey movie coming out.

I made it no secret that I read some of the books. I wrote about book 2 here.

I looked and couldn’t find my review on book one. Probably because I didn’t write one. I didn’t enjoy book one.

That rather shocked me, considering how much I enjoyed book 2. I LOVED book 2. But I really did not like book one at all.

Why?

To me, book one was just about shock value. I didn’t feel any emotion between Christian and Ana. Other than dominance, there was nothing between them. It was all about sex, what Christian wanted, and nothing else. Period.

Book two, Fifty Shades Darker, developed their love story. It conveyed the growth and emotion that anyone in a serious committed relationship will attest that happens when two become one.

After reading and not liking book one, I didn’t read book three.

I was done after book one, so I guess its a good thing I read book two before one.

That being said, I won’t go see the movie. I have no interest in it.

I mean seriously, who, especially a virginal young woman who is saving herself for the right guy, chooses to sign a contract that states plainly all the things the contract bearer can and will use on her?  And let me tell you folks, book one, is not an easy read. It gets hardcore, fast. If you read my post about book 2, then you will see, I’m not the blushing, naive type, but book one left me wanting to go shower the smut off.

It was not about loving, consensual, intimacy.

It was about a man, seeing a woman, decides he wants woman, regardless of woman’s opinion. He wore her down, until she said yes. And I’m not even sure she really meant to say yes.  Its rough, its raw and its the opposite of the scenes depicted in book two.

So no, I won’t go see the movie. And I won’t re-read the books.

Ya think?

I had a dr’s appointment today. It also happens to be PT day for dad. His physical therapist will be here sometime this afternoon. Before my dr’s appointment I told the two youngest that the PT was coming today to get up and straighten the house.

2 hrs later, I’m walking up the walk and hear one of them yell “Mom’s home!”

Wanna guess what I found when I walked in the door?

Nothing.

Absolutely nothing had been done.

One son was standing in the kitchen like he was getting ready to wash dishes (which by the way were supposed to have been done the night before and hadn’t been), the other one was sitting in the game chair, playing on his ipod.

I gave them the look, and both of them started trying to look busy.

A few minutes later, youngest looks at me and says “So, I guess I’m grounded huh.”

Ya think?

Lobster anyone?

Twenty-six years ago today, I married the man who would make me the happiest woman on earth.

Thankfully I love him more today than I did then. Lets face it, after 26 years of marriage, raising 5 sons, (still raising them) taking care of my parents, spending 10 years in the ministry, its entirely possible that we would just be muddling along in life, because its comfortable, instead of walking through life together because we want to be here.

I’ve given a lot of thought lately to marriage.

Stud and I met on October 7th, and got married the following Feb 6th. We were one day short of knowing each other 4 months when we pledged our lives to one another for eternity.

That was stupid.

Don’t worry, we’ve discussed it. We both agree we would never, ever tell anyone it was a good idea to get married that soon after meeting. Especially with our story.

We met, dated for 10 days, then he went back to his base. He was in the military, stationed over 2000 miles away. Our courtship, or dating, consisted of talking on the phone for 3.5 months.  When he came home so we could get hitched, I wasn’t even sure I would recognize him when I picked him up at the airport. I was so unsure, I took his sister with me.

He got home on Sunday, we got married on Monday, and immediately after the ceremony we packed all my earthly belongings in my car, and headed back across the country. We drove straight through, without stopping for sleep, and made it to base 36 hrs later.

What a way to start off a marriage.

But you know what?

It worked.

Stud is my lobster.

I’m his lobster.

We are each other’s better half.

I truly believe that God brought us together. Otherwise we would never have met, much less found ourselves where we are 26 years later.

It hasn’t all been a walk in the park. Marriage is hard work. It is a never ending job. It is a 24 hour a day, 365 day a year job.

Its worth ever second of it.

Happy Anniversary Stud!

I love you, you’re my lobster!

Faceplant anyone?

I had the pleasure of going to my Dr today for a physical. It was my first one in about 3 years, and for some reason I was nervous.

I’ve had 5 kids, there is no way that going to have a pap smear done should make me nervous. After all, I honestly couldn’t even start to count how many people have had a peek down there during a check or childbirth. Its amazing actually how little dignity you have when giving birth. So why was I nervous?

I was telling my dr how nervous I was and she started chuckling. Then told me a story that not only relieved my nerves but almost made me pee  myself.

She said she was doing a pap smear on a lady one day, all crouched down on her stool, getting ready to take the sample and all of the sudden, her stool flew out from under her. Instead of going down to the floor, the momentum carried her forward.

Forward.

As in she was headed for full on face plant in her patient’s hoo-ha.

She said she thankfully was able to stop herself about 3 inches short of getting to know her patient on an intimate basis.

Her nurse who saw it all, busted out laughing.

The lady didn’t have a clue what was going on.

I asked the Dr if she told the lady what happened, she said no.

Somewhere out there, there is a woman who went in for an annual check up, and went home with a complex about her lady bits because the nurse and Dr spontaneously erupted in laughter when they saw them.

Ruffled feathers anyone?

A read a review the other night that someone else wrote about a book I have not yet read, but intend to, A Thing of Beauty by Lisa Samson.  Lisa is one of my favorite authors, especially when I want a book with a bit of quirk to it. She writes with a voice that I absolutely adore. She doesn’t cut corners with her characters, they are written with a flourish of flaws, baggage and just tons of issues. Things I can agree with, empathize with and commiserate with. In other words, her characters are real.

The review I read, was not a positive one.

It was not a positive one because the reviewer was upset because the character in the book cussed. She cussed. The reviewer thought those words had no place in a Christian fiction book.

Ok.

So, I wrote a very nice comment, pretty much saying the same things I said in the paragraph above, about Ms Samson’s writing. I did not slam the reviewer, her opinion or anything else. In fact I thanked her for the review because it made me want to buy the book.

The reviewer deleted my comment.

She removed my comment.

Who does that?

Is she so insecure in her own opinion that she could not stand to see someone who disagreed?

Here on my blog, even if you do disagree, I let you comment stay. I usually will even acknowledge it and at least say thank you for commenting. I won’t engage in a verbal war with you, or in this case a written war, but I do let your opinion stay.

I lost a lot of respect for that reviewer today. Not over her review, but because she was so insecure in her own words that she could not leave my words in her comment tree.

I know I am not what many would call a conservative Christian, although I see myself as one.

But to condemn a book because the character uses words that we are surrounded by daily, well, that just ruffled my feathers.

I guess my comment on her review ruffled hers as well.

Blind Trust

Blind Trust by Sandra Orchard

This week, theChristian Fiction Blog Allianceis introducingBlind TrustRevell (June 17, 2014)bySandra Orchard

ABOUT THE AUTHOR:

Sandra Orchard is a multi-award-winning author of mysteries and romantic suspense with Revell Publishing and Harlequin’s Love Inspired Suspense imprint. She is an active member of American Christian Fiction Writers, Romance Writers of America and The Word Guild (Canada). A mother of three grown children, she lives in Niagara, Canada with her real-life-hero husband and writes full time . . . when not doting on her young grandchildren.

ABOUT THE BOOK

Kate Adams had no idea she was carrying counterfeit money, and she can’t believe that it came from her sweet neighbor. Or that it lands her in the middle of another one of Detective Tom Parker’s investigations. Determined to prove her neighbor’s innocence, Kate stumbles into a pit of intrigue that is far deeper than a two-bit counterfeit operation–and strikes too close to home for comfort. As family secrets come to light, her world–and her budding romance with Tom–begin to crumble. To Kate, it’s clear that she won’t be safe until she uncovers all of Port Aster’s secrets. But is it too late for her and Tom?

If you would like to read the first chapter of Blind Trust, go HERE.