Makes you wonder….

In case you were wondering why I’m not posting daily…

I’m sick as a dog
I started training for my new job
Youngest had a skin cancer cut off his head
Youngest had to go back and have more removed to make sure they got it all.
Son2 is having dizzy spells, and is headed to the cardiologist again.
The new care we bought last month broke. We fixed it.
It broke again. We fixed it.
Now the check engine light keeps coming on.
The washer quit.
The fridge quit. But now its working after losing a months worth of meat.
We are dealing with environmental inspectors with my dad’s trailer park.
And the sewage inspectors. On two different issues.
Son4 may have broke his finger. Gonna Check it tomorrow
I’m cooking for Oldest’s gf again tomorrow, 2 meals means its serious.
Son2 turns 19 Monday. Scary.
I went for a recheck for my hip issues, and the doc ordered all sorts of blood work to be done ASAP.
The lab is so backed up, my appointment was the beginning of October, my lab appt is in December.
So much for ASAP.
Hope I don’t keel over before ASAP comes around.
Needless to say, my mind isn’t on blogging.

I’m not complaining, just throwing it out there in case ya’ll want to help us pray for some relief. It would be much appreciated.

3′s

I will definitely be glad when 2010 is over.

My MIL had a heart attack tonight, by the time we got to the hospital, they had already placed a stent, and pacemaker. She’s in ICU but stable.

We are having a ton of other issues going on, so please pray for us.

Blush

Tonight was another one of those nights in the Stud household.
Youngest asked his dad an very important question…. ready?

“Dad, what do girls have other than boobs.”

This stemming from an earlier conversation from his oldest brother in which Oldest asked him if he knew what the difference between boys and girls were.
Youngests’ reply -yeah we have these (motioning in a waving motion in front of his crotchital area).
Oldest- Well then what do girls have?
Youngest- Nothing.
Oldest- You mean they are like, just flat like a Barbie doll
Youngest- Yeah, like a Barbie.

The ensuing laughter prompted my youngest son to go straight to his dad and ask just what exactly a girl had and what did it look like.

Luckily I was working while all of this was taking place, I could hear the laughter and hystronics coming from the next room, so I knew they were talking about the human…. no, make that female body, or the pitch of giggles and laughter would have had a total different tone.

At break time, I went out, only to have the room to suddenly shut up for a millisecond, and then all 5 boys start yelling at the same time, Dad tell mom, dad, tell mom!

Seems as if not only did Stud tell youngest what women have, but he detailed it for him.

Honesty.
Induces blushing every time in my house.
Now, The youngest two blush every time they see me, and yell “Don’t ever touch my mom again” when Stud looks at me.

I wonder how many extra hours I will have to work for pay for the therapy?

Box

Time for another Stud fam story.

This one takes place with Oldest was around, 4 I think.

We spent a lot of time at my parents house, I was expecting Son3, and needed the respite most days.  Son3′s incubation took a lot out of me.

My brother lived with my parents then, and had the middle bedroom in the house.  Kind of a central location.  Brother-soon-to-be-hair-dresser was a lousy room cleaner.  LOUSY.  He came in at night, threw his loose change on the floor, the dirty clothes on the floor, clean clothes on the floor, school books on the floor, you name it, it went on the floor.  All mixed in together.  You couldn’t tell good stuff from bad stuff.

So now you see why we didn’t think it odd when the room started stinking.  After a couple of weeks of smelling his room, I decided to find out what was smelling so bad.  It was invading the rest of the house, and you could smell his room when you first walked in the front door.

I was off on a scavenger hunt, figuring I would find a moldy big mac, pile of stinky socks, wadded up stiff underwear, or something.  Instead, behind the bedroom door, I found a cardboard box.

That box REAKED of stink.

I dared open it, slowly, afraid of what I would find.

I was right to be scared.

What I found made me gag, so hard I almost gave birth to son3 the wrong way.

It was a box of poop.

Baby poop

Baby, human poop.

Now, It was pretty easy to figure out who exactly that box of turds belonged to. Son’s 4 and 5 hadn’t even been thought of yet.  Son3 was still developing, and Son2 was still in diapers. Leaving one lone child, Oldest.

When questioned, he finally admitted that was in fact his box of excrement.  His reasoning?

Papaw’s bathroom was scary, so he used the box.

Oh the reasoning of a 4 year old.

Corn

Of all my children, Son3 was probably the most difficult toddler.  He was sweet as he could be, but stubborn to a fault.  If you have kids then you know at some point in toddler hood, the rotten little messes decide it is much funner to walk through life nekkid, t hen eventually, they grow out of it.  Usually in a matter of weeks  or a couple of months.

Not son3.  His stage lasted about a year.  We handled it pretty well.  When we were out in public, I put him in overalls so he couldn’t get his clothes off, he would try his best, but just couldn’t figure out how to get those snaps unfastened.   Around the house, I didn’t worrry about it much.

I happened to be going through a rough pregnancy with #4 and  was on bedrest for the dozenth time, so we were staying at my parents during the day while Stud worked.  the boys were playing outside, while my dad was working in his garden which was about 100 yards down the road.  I was laying on the couch trying to find something to watch on tv, my mom was cooking in the kitchen, when I heard car doors shut.  Whoever it was never did come to the door, so I drug my pregnant self off the couch and walked over to the front porch  just in time to see Son3 talking to two very distinguished looked gentlemen.  They were asking where my dad was.  I heard son3 tell them to follow him, and he took off running down the road, with the two rather snobby fellows following.

The problelm?

Son3 was naked as a jay-bird.  I’m talking nekkid as the day he was born.

I was pretty well blood red with embarrassment, by this time, my mom had come into the living room to see what was going on, and she was laughing hysterically.  The men looked very unamused, but hey, that’s what they get for asking a naked 2 year old where his papaw is.

Poor little guy, got all kinds of scratch’s on the privates, running through the rows of corn, stepping all over papaw’s beans trying to take the men to papaw.

Accident

Yesterday Son2 had PT, his last one.  While talking to the receptionist dude, my phone started ringing.  I ignored it, then Son2′s started ringing.  I figured it was someone who knew both of us, and found it pretty urgent to get intouch, so I answered.

Son3- Mom, I now have proof that youngest was in my room last night while I was gone.

Me- um, son, is this really important to talk about right now.

Son3- Just listen, know how I know? Because my airsoft pistol wasn’t loaded when I left, and now, it is full.

Me- Okaaay, and why did I need to know this RIGHT NOW?

Son3- well, I found out it was loaded when I accidently shot youngest in the chin.

Chase

Big dog has a problem.  He’s exhausted.  Which isn’t really the problem, its the result of his problem.

Girl dog is his problem.

She’s in heat.

And taking her frustration out on Big Dog.

She is chasing him from room to room, if he lays down to rest, she is on top of him.  If he stops for a millisecond, she is on him.  She tries to corner him in any way she can.  Which got me to thinking.

Boys don’t like girls who chase them.  Not really.  In theory they might, briefly, but when it comes to settling down, they want a nice quiet woman.

Not some raging lunatic that chases them from room to room trying to corner them.

Emergency!

Waaaaaaayyyyy back, when I was working as a bookkeeper for a local grocery store, I worked days, Stud worked 3rd shift, that way, the three boys were able to stay home, and not go to day care.  Unfortunately, that meant Stud was catching up on sleep while tending to 3 boys ages 1-3-and 4.  Not a good combination.

I got off work one day,  and when I tried to pull out of the parking lot, I had to wait until the fire department, rescue squad, ambulance, and police department went screaming by.  I didn’t think anything of it, just headed on home.

Until I saw the flashing lights all turn down my road, then my first instinct was Oh no, something’s happened to mom or dad.  Or maybe one of the neighbors.  I got even more scared when I saw them all pull into my parents driveway, and block the road to my house.

I parked the car in the yard, and went running up to one of the emt’s.  We had grown up together, his first words to me were “Charmed, you have kids don’t you?”

Let me tell you, my heart dropped out the bottom, and I about peed myself in fear.  I just knew something was wrong with my kids.  I ran past EMT guy, and beat them all to my front door.

I bust open the door, to see my 3 boys all on their belly’s watching TV, my then 15 yr old brother in the recliner watching tv with them, and Stud snoring soundly on the couch.

No one was bleeding, nothing was broke, all were conscious, and all of htem looked at me like I was an idiot for busting the door in.  That is until the police, emt, fireman, and rescue worker followed in behind me.

That was when emt guy explained they had got a 911 call from my phone that was a dead air call.  On all dead air calls, they have to fully respond, not knowing the emergency and all, every department has to go.

I looked around the room, Stud was still snoring by the way, and saw my oldest with this sheepish look on his face.  I knew who had done it, I just didnt’ know why.

An almost 5 year old breaks pretty easily when faced with so many badges and uniforms asking him questions, so the story came out pretty quick.

My dear younger brother had wanted to watch Jurassic Park, we had a satellite dish, he didn’t, so he came to my house to watch the movie.   Oldest want to watch his favorite, Darkwing Duck.  Jurrasic Park scared oldest, so he begged my brother to put it back on Darkwing Duck, my brother being the pain in the rear he was, and exhorting all control over the remote, refused.    And instead of  waking his dad to tell on my brother,  my oldest decided to call the police and have my brother arrested for not letting him watch Darkwing Duck. He was such an idyllic child.  Nothing got between him and his Darkwing Duck.  Nothing.

Yuck

Youngest-Mom, I think girl dog is pregnant.

Mom- Why?

Youngest- Cause she has milk coming out her, you know, things.

Mom- How do you know?

Youngest- I was rubbing her belly and it just came out.

Me (to myself) that’s just gross.

Shower

I need to say hello to all the people who work for this team.  From what I’ve heard, I’ve got a fan base there, so thanks guys.  Now just for you we will go back a few years, about 16 to be exact.

At that point in time, the Stud fam lived in a single wide trailer, and there were only two Stud Kid’s then.  Oldest was about 2.5 to 3 years old, and Son2 was not quite 1 yr yet.

In a singlewide, it’s difficult to lose two toddler boys, but somehow I did.  I checked their room, no boys, they weren’t playing in the toilets, which boys tend to do at that age, and they weren’t in any other room in the house.  I was getting a bit worried, until I went in my bedroom and heard a low giggle.  It was a hushed one, a sound that let me know that the child who  made it was up to nothing good.

I followed the sound to the walk in closet in Stud and my’s bedroom.  The light was on, and I could hear that giggle much, much better there.  I jerked opened the door to find Oldest, standing on the shelf in the closet, and Son2 was sitting in the floor of the closet.  What was so funny you ask?

Oldest was peeing on Son2′s head, giggling all the way.  Son2 just sat there, getting a foul smelling shower.  Me?  Well, of course at first, I shrieked in horror, and snatched son2 out of the way of the yellow stream, Oldest jumped out of his skin with my quite girly sounding scream, along with going pale as a ghost and sitting his little naked rear down on the shelf.  I reached oldest down to the floor, admonishing him the entire time about how little boys do NOT pee in the closet, and definitely do NOT pee on their brother’s head.

Son2 still hasn’t forgiven him, and Oldest still laughs everytime he hears the story.  Later that night, when Stud got home, after the boys were asleep, I told him what I found, he gave out one of those belly laughs that says “that’s my boy”.

No wonder I’m not a girly mom anymore.